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Where can I find the upgrade instructions for upgrading from 5.8.0? Do I upgrade first and then update the PHP and Database versions or update the PHP and Database versions and then update the files? Is the MariaDB only for fresh installs?
Follow the upgrade guide in the kb but you will want your host to pay attention to the requirements.
https://community.socialengine.com/blogs/597/130/socialengine-requirements
and
https://community.socialengine.com/blogs/597/7/performing-upgrades
You won't be able to upgrade without updating the server but you need that patch in the upgrade guide. Try this first.
More than likely you will need to follow the manual upload guide in the upgrade document if you can't get to the upgrade page which would be at yoursite.com/admin/install
MariaDB can work for any but I do not know what happens if someone changes from MySQL to MariaDB. I suggest trying on a development site. Same for upgrading, try on a development site first.
at August 9, 2023 6:08 AM EDT
So, do I need to upgrade the server to the requirements first, then put the patch in, and then upload the updates?
I got a development server set up, but not really sure where or what that process with the patch is.
It's highlighted in the upgrade document to upload the patch first. Please be sure to fully read the upgrade document . It states to upload the patch first, in red. It says how to upload the patch as well.
Have you gotten everything upgraded?
It should say something like this. First, before you upgrade the server, upload the patch. Did I miss that part? No, I have not gotten everything upgraded. There is an error. I am going to have to reset the server I suppose or set up another server.
I am still working on this. Trying to figure out the secret combination of steps to upgrade. Patch first and then upgrade database and PHP? Patch first and then upgrade PHP? Patch first and upgrade database? Or, upgrade server php and database first and then upload the patch ...?
No one has answered but I have not stopped working on this and trying to figure out the secret combination. I upgraded the server to MariaDB and PHP 8 and uploaded the patch and I get and error on the /install page that says "Invalid credentials"
[Sun Aug 13 22:28:02.015467 2023] [proxy_fcgi:error] Got error 'PHP message: PHP Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Call to undefined function get_magic_quotes_gpc() in
at August 14, 2023 10:04 AM EDT
I am still getting the error that my login to the install page is not correct.
You aren't checking the requirements. It says it does not work with FCGI in the requirements. It also says magic_quotes must be off.
Thank you, Donna, I trusted the server hosting techs to set it up correctly. 
I can't trust anyone. I just thought they are professionals and was thinking no need to check their work so I just started updating. I will try again this morning and keep you updated. I appreciate all your help and glad you're here.
No problem. I've seen it before. They tend not to read the entire document and think everything is the same in every script but many scripts have specifications. Vanillaforums had some really odd specs before too. I'm sure they'll get it for you. they can probably load the files too but make sure they know just for that development site.
If nothing works, let me know and I'll try again on my local and will try to provide steps but it's tricky upgrading from lower versions sometimes. This was a super major upgrade. Lots of great stuff in v6. Because it's such a big improvement, it can be tricky to upgrade. I hadn't had issues though in upgrading any sites but I don't upgrade sites with third party plugins. Too much hassle for me
.
I removed one post and edited the other post to remove the sensitive info for your site IP and site domain. I wasn't sure if you wanted those in there. Safer to remove them.
BTW, I do not have third party plugins that I know of. Did you see something in there?
No I hadn't checked your site but if you had any installed in the past, at any time, they can have made database and code edits that would interfere with an upgrade. It's why I recommend cloning the site and testing an upgrade once you get your current development issues worked out.